ejournal - it's amazing, the thoughts that run through my head

July 29th, 2002

Gotta Catch 'Em All
I catch a little bit of the news on TV and on the Radio every day and I have one question: What is going on with this kidnapping of little girls. It seems like a little girl is kidnapped off someone's lawn on a daily basis now. I know they can be adorable but they are not Pokemon! What's going on?! Are these kidnappers crazy from the heat? One minute you're worried about planes flying into buildings, the next you're worried about some bandit snatching your child, what is this world coming to?!?
-Zosie

July 26th, 2002

"Making Love out of Nothing At All"

And I know just where to touch you, And I know just what to prove
I know when to pull you closer, And I know when to let you loose
And I know the night is fading, And I know the time's gonna fly
And I'm never gonna tell you everything I gotta tell you, But I know I gotta give it a try

And I know the roads to riches, And I know the ways to fame
I know all the rules, And I know how to break 'em, And I always know the name of the game

But I don't know how to leave you, And I'll never let you fall
And I don't know how you do it, Making love out of nothing at all
Out of nothing at all, Making love out of nothing at all

Every time I see you all the rays of the sun are streaming through the waves in your hair
And every star in the sky is taking aim at your eyes like a spotlight
The beating of my heart is a drum and it's lost, And it's looking for a rhythm like you
You can take the darkness from the pit of the night, And turn into a beacon burning endlessly bright
I've gotta follow it, cause everything I know, well it's nothing till I give it to you

I can make the runner stumble, I can make the final block
And I can make every tackle at the sound of the whistle, And I can make all the stadiums rock
And I can make tonight forever, or I can make it disappear by the dawn
And I can make you every promise that has ever been made, I can make all your demons be gone

But I'm never gonna make it without you, Do you really wanna see me crawl
And I'm never gonna make it like you do, Making love out of nothing at all
Out of nothing at all."
Air Supply - Making Love Out Of Nothing At All

-Zosie

July 22st, 2002

The Master of Disguise
I saw a commercial for 'The Master of Disguise' with...Dana Carvey!? I thought he was dead! I guess I was wrong.
-Zosie

July 21st, 2002

Time makes you bolder, children get older, I'm getting older too...
One a typical drowsy Sunday I showed up alone to my store only to turn around and go get some coffee and a hash brown from your popular McDonalds. In my car that morning I heard a variety of, what I would consider, modern rock songs on the HFS Flashback Cafe. Namely I heard Alice in Chains - No Excuses, and Reel Big Fish - Sell Out. Hmm, mid to late 90's songs are not really old, but having them presented in that context makes me feel old. In 2002, there have been many reminders of how old I am. Like when you are 25 and arrive at a university for the first time and one of your classmates is 16 years old. But it's not how old you are, it's how old you feel. This year I thought "Wow, I'm 25, if I live to be 75, 1/3. of my life is over." But rather than dwell on that, I came to the realization that, like a fine wine, I'm only getting better with age. Perspective is a powerful thing. "Every passing moment is another chance to turn it all around." Enjoy this while I am being possitive for a change.
-Zosie

July 12th, 2002

Don't Stop Believin'
Wow, Finally I am adding some of my writings from July. Organization, completion, inspiration, keeping up with myself, foreign concepts?! I worked and slept alot during the beginning of the summer, but I am looking forward to some vacation time in August. Had a fun, fateful night out with my good friend Marty. My punctuality, or lack-there-of, caused us to miss having some beers at the American Legion. We headed towards faithful Waldorf. Marty pointed out a 'massage parlor' on the way to a bar. "Oh, a massage parlor, sooky sooky, aw, me so horny, me love you long time." Well it was funny at the time... We went to a bar called "Memories" for some drinks. Middle-aged rednecks staring at me made for a not-so-memorable experience. We split and went to Howards to shoot some pool. That rocked and it's all good baby! Sorry about that. Anyway, we went by Denny's for his to-go order and I met a cool group there. A hermit gets out of the house for a change and finds himself captivated by a mysterious, yet gorgeous enchantress dressed all in black. The choices one makes, where the day takes you, and the way events and eras unfold through the intricate tapestry that is life. It's great how even though I have been in a rut, I have chipped away at my bad season and managed to slowly turn it around this month. I'm still a kid at heart, and a true romantic...living in a dreamy state. Sometimes dreams seem more real to me than reality. Sometimes perfect days and dreamy nights give me a feeling that I'm on the right path.
-Zosie

July 6th, 2002

A Spark Feeds the Flame
After an underwhelming Independence Day, (remember what we are celebrating, "the fact that a bunch of wealthy white aristocrats didn't want to pay their taxes") a good day presented itself. I went to eat lunch at Arby's and to see a Bowie Baysox game with my 'special lady-friend' Amanda. And I had a really good day on one of the few saturdays that I have had off this summer. The game and the weather were awesome. Amanda even got to get up on top of the dugout and on the tv screen for a cingular wireless contest. I got to see my good old friend, the Chick-Fil-A Mascot. Fireworks filled the air and reminded me that I'm still alive, blood still pumps through these old veins. The summer is still here and I am getting my second wind. You can lose your will and motivation, but if you are patient you will find them again.
Oh, and I almost forgot...Where's Waldo? He's serving beer at Prince George's Stadium in Bowie MD.
-Zosie

July 4th, 2002

The Prodigal Son Returns
My dirty, black summer, my bad season, continues... The rejection I experienced from UMBC and the melancholy of my existence sent me into a tail spin this summer. 'Dis' describes my attitude. Dissatisfied, Disconnected, Disillusioned, Disenchanted, Dismayed, Disadvantaged, Disturbed, Disgusted, Disappointed, Displeased, need I say more? Yes. I sleep the days away, only to get up and drive around aimlessly to strip malls and shopping centers and spend my hard earned dough on useless bullshit. I am registered full time for classes this fall at a school that does not want me, and I work a job that is somewhat necessary yet it is slowly killing me.
I remember being a child and my classmates would ask the cliche question "what do you want to be when you grow up?" Well, I'm grown up, but what am I? Or a better question is who am I? The Who asked "who are you, who who, who who?" I don't know who or what I am and that may be my biggest fault.
Am I like most of the people I know today, a fake version of my former self? Am I destined to bask in my former glory while continuing to lead a mediocre existence?
I am the epitome of mis-directed anger and wastefullness. I am a jack of all trades but a master of none. In love, friendship, family, work, school, and general obligations I am rarely excellent. I am just slightly above average, I am a honorable mention in the contest of life. My motivation and my will burn out faster than a sparkler on the 4th of July. I am the posterchild for wasted talent. Will I get it together, only time will tell...
And so Zosie, 'The Prodigal Son', returns.
-Zosie

Journey - Don't Stop Believin'

Home | eJournal | Archive