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April 30th, 2002 Scam Bites Dog
My mother informed me on Monday that she received a phone call for a Trevor Monzon. It turned out to be a tele-marketer. There is one glaring problem here...Trevor Monzon is a DOG. Yes, he has many nicknames (namely Tinky) but his pedigree papers and tag show his first given name: Trevor Monzon. We assume the call came because, like many dogs, he makes frequent trips to the vet. In addition to that he receives prescription medications from time to time. This probably led to receiving a call from a telemarketer. This deserved a laugh at first, but then a show of disapproval with a tsk tsk and shake of the head. We live in an impersonal and automated world when companies phone your pet. This is yet another sign of the upcoming apocalypse.
April 29th, 2002 Who ya gonna call...
I have many fond memories of childhood. One I would like to discuss took place back in the mid 1980's. I used to hang out with my next door neighbor and his younger brother. We used to get in all sorts of trouble. Often we just played with GiJoes, watched TV or lurked around the neighborhood. One day I had the idea that we should form a club, actually it was more like an organization. I proclaimed that from that day forward we would be known as the Bee Busters. I was rather dissatisfied with the bee population mainly due to allergies. I had the idea in my head that the three of us could ride around the neighborhood in a big white vehicle, suit up in gray overalls, and trap bees in containment units and store them somewhere. Due to time and budget constraints we had to foot it and just stomp on bees with our Nike hightops. I had grand visions of the future of the Bee Busters. I could see a movie being made about us. And even a toy line and various merchandise. Eventually a cartoon would depict us and then we'd get into the whole "The REAL Bee Busters" crap and you get the idea. I even came up with a concept for a sequal to the first movie years later.
Bee Busters 2 - In the years to follow, our community would chastise us over the destruction of their gardens and laws. But the demand for our services would rise again as bees and negative feelings spread across town. We would discover that the bad mood of our community was being caused by negatively charged honey that flowed under the ground. Then for some strange reason a painting at the NGA would kidnap a baby and cover the NGA with a wall of negative honey that our super-soakers could not penetrate. We would resort to covering the national monument with positively charged honey and use oldies music to make it move and then break up the wall of honey. We would then save the girl, the baby, the day, etc...
All of these ideas never came to be due to local bureaucracy. (Actually the truth is that my friend got tired of getting stung and the novelty of stomping bees wore off quickly)
If I can make a point in this rambling it would be that I felt this was an early example of my creativity. Stomping bees may never have made it to the silver screen, but it certainly shows merit and shows that you should always experiment with your imagination and creative ideas no matter how stupid they are...
April 26th, 2002 April Recommendations
A few weeks ago while frustrated with re-building my PC, I was having a bad day and hectic night. Based on recommendations from Craig and Alan's websites (the power of suggestion) I watched my rented copy of Wet Hot American Summer. It was hilarious. I highly recommend that you watch this movie. I also suggest Cecil B. Demented. Now I may be partial to John Waters Movies, but I think you'll enjoy it. This movie was also loaded with laughs.
I hope to see Panic Room, Blade II, Spiderman and Star Wars II in the theatre soon provided I ever get the time to do so. That is all for now.
April 25th, 2002 OBX
Like I said before, my journal is a way for me to complain, so here's another complaint. I keep seeing these oval black and white stickers on the rear windows of vehicles (usually trucks and suvs). I have seen a variety of them, but the one I see the most says OBX. I have been told by people that these are beach stickers. Does that mean that they only make these stickers about beach towns or can you only get them at the beach? If having a beach community/city name on the sticker makes it a beach sticker, would having my town's name on a sticker make it a ghetto sticker, or rural sticker??
I find these stickers annoying because they are trendy and one more thing about the OBX stickers: It says OBX, then Outer Banx * NC. I believe it's should be spelled Outer Banks...this is a part of this trend of naming things like Blacksford-Blaxford, or Jacksonville-Jaxsonville or just JAX. I won't get into the hip slang improper English rant, I'll just leave you with this. Here's a sticker for all you Oval Beach Sticker Dudes
April 24th, 2002 AdVISORy
Got a lot on my plate. I have my current classes and a job to stay on top of. I have student advising and registration coming up as well as a portfolio to complete. And I am tired (No Rest for the Wicked and No Sleep Till Brooklyn) and can't wait for summer so I can start to do nothing. But for about 2-3 weeks I have not been handling everything the way I usually do, I don't think I have been on top of my game. Why? Probably because I've been staying up to late, getting up to late, playing around and writing ejournal entries when I should be focused on the above said tasks. No, I think it's because I purchased a Kansas City Royals Visor. Yes, my life and I believe the world, has seemed out of balance ever since the day I bought that KC Visor a few weeks ago. Maybe I should go back and purchase the rest of the visor and make it an actual hat or
maybe I should be looking for the much coveted Black KC Hat instead. Tonight I will examine this theory and maybe develop a way to solve the problem. People are worried about the environment and globalization and hunger and I am worried about a hat...if you learn nothing else from me, get your priorities straight.
April 23th, 2002 Censorship Blues
A song made me think about censorship a few weeks ago. I have received
some scrutiny by folks in the past on my anti-censorship views and as always it's debatable. But just chew on this for a minute. They censored Weezer by bleeping out Hash in the song Hash Pipe on the radio and tv. (Why, I'm not sure) Anyway, They wouldn't let Weezer say Hash Pipe, but have no problem with
Dope Nose...seems like a contradiction.
April 22th, 2002 9/11 Trading Cards!?
Yes, the title is self explanatory, but allow me to elaborate. A few days
ago on the radio I heard some news and one topic was about September 11th trading
cards. Some entrepreneur and/or his company proposed the idea of 9/11 trading cards with the victims as the subject matter. It was proposed to the families
and friends of those who died as a way of raising money. Naturally the majority were opposed, although some agreed and thought it was a good idea. Hmmm. I want to believe that it was an honest effort to raise money with only the best
intentions, but even so it seems a little morbid. You be the judge. I could only picture some kids on bikes outside a convenience store with packs of cards: "Oooh, I'll trade ya' your older brother for my Mom..."
April 21th, 2002 Chanting Monks
I keep hearing this annoying Sony CD Burner/Minidisc Recorder commercial on the radio
every hour on the hour. If you've heard it, then I have just one simple question for you: What do Monks have to do with CD Burner Software/Minidiscs? Sorry but if there was any purpose behind that commercial it must have went over my head.
April 20th, 2002 The Goldrush
Back in 1999 as the supposed century was coming to a close, I felt a little
lost with school and work. It was the summer of 99, it was dry and hot, and it was a pivotal time in which I just felt like picking up and leaving. I felt like making a name for myself elsewhere since I was unable to do so here. I started thinking West. I had Go West and Ventura Highway blasting on my stereo as I drove down the rural backroads of Accokeek one night. I had the windows down and I could envision myself heading out west. With the my Butt Cowboy persona still fresh on the mind and a box of country and western music, I sort of had a fantasy about going out that way on my own, Ranglin' and Ramblin'. I started to think about how a trek out west would work. First I thought of the Lewis and Clark expedition, maybe I could follow the Missouri up towards Washington State. Maybe I could ride a covered wagon much like the Oregon Trail with a few boxes of bullets and several oxen(Craig has the measles, lose 2 days). Or maybe just drive my vehicle on the interstate and go to California. CA seemed like a good start. I wouldn't need no college education or a dead end job, just a sack-on-a-stick and a metal pan I could use to sift for Gold. I would be informed that I probably missed the Gold Rush by about like 150 years, but why let that stop me. The thought of the Butt Cowboy with six-shooters and a badge out in the old west or just Zosie The Prospector out in the foothills of California looking for gold paints a unique picture and had it's place in time.
In March 2002 I heard a story on the radio about a couple of teens that had struck gold in a mine in California. I felt a little sad when I heard that. That could have been me a few years ago. Oh well, just goes to show that sometimes you should chase your dreams, who knows where they will take you. Now if you'll excuse me, I must be off. There's a couple of little punks that have something that belongs to me...
April 19th, 2002 Target Greatlands
I made a routine visit to the Target Greatlands. I did not notice anything distinctive about the landscape that would warrant it being considered "Great", however, the store is nice. Another observation reveals that this Target (Columbia Crossings, MD) has two entrances. One set of doors is blue, the other set is green...why? My hypothesis is that the green and blue doors go along with the red of target and since everything is made up of Red, Green, and Blue (RGB for the uninformed), then they are saying that target has everything you need inside. Furthermore I wonder...will my experience at the store be affected by which color of doors I choose to pass through. Will the outcome of my shopping experience, my day, and possible my life be affected in a positive or negative way based upon which colored set of doors I pick. These are questions that you should ask yourself everyday. On a side note, when I went in they announced on the intercom that it was time for the evening huddle. I don't know what the difference between an evening huddle and oh, say a morning huddle is, but the image of little blonde-haired girls in tight red t-shirts and cotton khakis bending over in a group circle quickly passed before my mental eye. One can dream, can't he...Have a pleasant day.
April 18th, 2002 Saxaphone Solo
Howdy 'Patna'. The weather has been bright and sunny as of late and
as I wonder around Catonsville, UMBC, Patapsco Park, and drive the long and lonesome highway I have been reflecting on the 1980's. Don't get me wrong, even though the previous paragraph is 80's material, I'm not saturating my life with the past or dwelling on it. It's nice now and then to relive good memories (former glory). And I'll end this by saying that It doesn't get any better than a saxaphone solo.
Here is a link to a rather lengthy essay I have written.
NES Ice Hockey - A bias video game based on physical appearance
April 17th, 2002 3 Principles
Hello, this is the first entry in my "ejournal". This web journal will
be very much like a regular paper journal, except it's on the internet and
everyone will be able to read it. The ejournal will be the perfect forum for me to post my thoughts and writings and display my creativity and imagination. This is really an excuse to complain about
shit and vent my frustrations now that my friends are not around and I have
no one to talk to. It's also a way for me to convey the strange and amazing thoughts that pass through my head on a regular basis, so enjoy.
First I want to explain three principles that you can use to achieve success in life. I learned these from (where else) 1980's movies and they will allow you to look like a winner and come out on top everytime.
You can be a hero and win the day if:
1. You can win the "Regatta Boat Race".
2. You can dive the "Triple Lindie" (with an extra spring board added)
3. You can ski the "K-12"
All of these of course require some insurmountable odds, an arrogant
opponent and you have to fall behind, yet somehow pull it out and win at the end much to the delight of the random on-lookers. Please e-mail me if you have any questions.
Bee Gees - Words
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